More Random Thoughts

As I was laying in bed last night, unable to sleep since I can't get comfortable, thoughts started running through my head. Thoughts about God and living a truly Christian life. After all, if I believe every word in the Bible is true, why am I not living like it? Why do I sometimes ignore parts of His Word? If I truly believe the entire Bible is the inspired Word of God, how can I say that the Law is no longer relevant (not that I've said it in words, but in actions)? If I believe things in the Bible to be literal, how can I just, in a way, ignore whole books of it? After all, Jesus didn't come to abolish the Law, but to fulfill it (IE, He is the only One capable of keeping every aspect of it, that's why He is our sacrificial Lamb). After a lot of soul searching last night, I came to the conclusion that if I want to truly "walk the walk" I need to make sure that I'm taking the WHOLE of God's Word! Not just "here and there" but ALL of it!!! Obviously, I shouldn't become so focused on the Law that I lose sight of the mercy and grace that God extends to us (but nor should I become so focused on His mercy and grace that I lose sight of the Law, without the Law, we have no way of knowing that we have sinned!). His mercy and grace are apparent throughout all of Scripture, starting in the Garden of Eden when He killed the animal as a sacrifice to cover Adam and Eve's sin. Also, I must hate sin, because God is a Holy God and cannot look upon sin. This is why He gave us the Law, to show His Holiness and our need for Him. I need to make sure that when my daughter misbehaves I don't treat it lightly, but remind her that this is the reason Jesus had to come to earth to die - I do generally try to do this, but as I get tired, I sometimes let it slip, something I really cannot afford to do. God treats ALL sin as terrible, if I want my daughter to grow up to love, trust and obey God, I have to train her from NOW so that she sees WHO God is, HOW God is and desires to belong to Him. If I don't truly walk in the way of God, how can I expect her to? How can I expect her to love, trust and obey God if I'm not fully doing so? How can I hold her to a standard of behaviour when I'm not holding myself to that standard? Lately, I've not been living fully for God, but for self. I've not been as worried about my daughters eternal soul, but about temporal comforts, which have NO lasting value. Oh, I've "gone through the motions" and everything looked good on the outside, but inside, I was far from God. Last night, He showed me this. Last night, as I couldn't sleep, I prayed. I cried out to God to help me come back to Him. God truly answers prayers!!! He forgives!!! And, He gives second (and third, fourth, fifth, etc) chances!!! He is far more merciful than I deserve, far better to me than I deserve! After all, He saved me from my sins and the second death! He gives me life here and now, that I might glorify Him. He's given me a precious trust (my daughter) to raise up for Him, which I can ONLY do with His help! I need to fully trust God, rely on Him and live ONLY for Him!